The fear of arrest is a terrible thing / was "are we addicted to Dowry"

>Anyway I believe truth will always win.

> I have been lucky enough to get AB without
>anyone going in. Even though I ended up
>paying lot to all the thugs who have made
>this business.


The fear of arrest is a terrible thing

The fear of arrest was probably created by
rulers in the minds of subjects / citizens
since time immemorial to reduce crime, to have
some order in society..etc..

The same fear is being used by the "thugs" in
this 498a business to milk ordinary ,
straightforward, law abiding, educated, decent
citizens in India today

I've experienced this fear and so am NOT
preaching here. I've slowly come out of this fear
thanks to family and friends in SIF... , so
like most often I'm just sharing the experience
here

Worse still is the fear of seeing your aged
mother or father in prison

The normal bread winner also has to worry
about possible loss of job as the rest of
society still thinks that men are convicts even
before tried in courts and proven

This makes it easy for the "thugs" in this
extortion racket to milk unsuspecting husbands

How to get out of this fear and how to tell
every married man that the jail isn't all that
bad compared to living a life of misery with a
blackmailer, an un scrupulous woman who can
file a false DV or 498a any time

How to tell men of today that the Jail after
all is welcome to 50% of your home or tens of
thousands of rupees per month as alimony for an
un scrupulous companion ...thanks to DV act ??

Soon a lesson in 4898a would be essential
before the sapthapathi

India has an unique way of adopting many
things into our customs and a DV + 498a lecture
should fit into the marriage rituals probably

For temporary periods of time Gandhi ji got
Indians to feel that getting arrested for
swaraj was a prestige

This was in spite of most British Prisons
including the infamous ones at andamans being
far more terrible than the ones today

How do we get to this state in with the masses ?

regards
Vinayak



>
>
>--- On Sun, 20/7/08, .....
><.....@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>Subject: ..... Re: Are we getting addicted to
dowry?
>To: saveindianfamily@ yahoogroups. com
>Date: Sunday, 20 July, 2008, 7:10 PM
>
>
>
>Team
>
>Something similar to me happen, the only
>bad things is they married the girl, who
>kept on thinking why did I marry someone
>without taking any dowry. This lead to
>suspicion in her mind and she always tried
>to see what was wrong in me. She use to
>question everything I did. I felt main cause
>was why did not we demand anything. There
>must be something wrong on our side.
>
>Unfortunately I ended up in 498 /DV /125
>cases. I question myself whether not taking
>dowry is a good thing in a society which
>sees it a way of ensuring you are good.
>
>Anyway I believe truth will always win. I
>have been lucky enough to get AB without
>anyone going in. Even though I ended up
>paying lot to all the thugs who have made
>this business.
>
>A
>>
>>--- In saveindianfamily@ yahoogroups. com,
>>..... <.... @... > wrote:
>>
http://gopal-athani.blogspot.com/2008/07/are-we-getting-addicted-to-dowry.html
>>
>>What I am going to narrate is another real
>>incidence, which sounds very amusing, but
>>certainly there is a great food for thought.
>>
>>One of my best friends, Anand, called me up
>>day before yesterday after a long time, to
>>inform me that he had liked a girl, and even
>>his family liked her, and everything would
>>be settled down in a month, and marriage
>>would be in December. He had come back from
>>US for a holiday and this surprising
>>development happened. This came as a great
>>surprise for me because this guy never liked
>>the company of girls and always used to tell
>>us that he would never marry for any cost.
>>There were many incidences in our college
>>days when he ran away from some
>>opportunities because he had work with
>>girls! Like anchoring in a college function
>>or some performance like a duet song.
>>
>>First of all I could not believe his tone
>>when he told me this. He sounded perfectly
>>happy. So naturally I conveyed my heartily
>>condolences to him, and wished all the very
>>best time in the remaining time of freedom J.
>>
>>Today I was waiting for his call, as he was
>>supposed to call me to inform the dates of
>>the engagement and marriage. But I did not
>>get any call from him. I thought the guy
>>might be having a long list of people to
>>inform, and thought give him a call myself.
>>When I did so, I was expecting the same
>>happier and exited tone of a boy about to
>>get married. But it was a diametrically
>>opposite one. First he took some time in
>>some other things. Then finally when I
>>rounded him on this, he gave me shocking
>>news. His proposal was rejected by the
>>girl's family.
>>
>>Anand comes from a very rich and yet a very
>>generous family. His parents are so well
>>cultured, respected in the whole town. His
>>father is a well known surgeon in Bijapur,
>>and his mother a devoted house wife. They
>>are totally against all the social evils
>>like dowry. For his sisters they never gave
>>any dowry nor were they going to get for
>>Anand.
>>
>>The very next day both families were
>>sitting together for further discussion, to
>>fix a date and all. As Anand said the
>>meeting did not last for more than 20 mins.
>>The first topic the girl's family raised was
>>dowry. Anand's father, clearly denied dowry
>>in any form. This for anyone of us is a
>>reason to be happy and respect such a
>>person. But surprisingly for the girl's
>>family, it was not. Anand said they suddenly
>>started looking into each other's face and
>>fell silent completely for a while. And they
>>asked for some time to discuss something
>>within their family, and went out. After
>>half an hour the mediator for this proposed
>>marriage returned, without anyone from
>>girl's family. He told Anand and his family
>>that they are not interested in this relation!
>>
>>The reason…..*they thought that if Anand
>>and his family are not demanding any dowry,
>>then there must be something wrong with
>>Anand or his family!!!! * You would not
>>believe, but it is the truth. I did not know
>>whether to laugh at those stupid people or
>>cry for Anand.
>>
>>Have the social evils left another effect
>>on our society, that we can not realize the
>>truly human values of a person?
>>
>>Or is it that social evils have become so
>>common that if someone is denying them,
>>opposing them, and is keen to be a living
>>personality outside them, is perceived to be
>>abnormal?
>>
>>
>>Or is it just a suspicion of the human mind
>>that always perceives that if there is
>>something good, it is veiling evil behind
>>it? Why are we generalizing the same on
>>everyone?
>>
>>Now, with such an incidence, if Anad's
>>father changes his mind? And asks for dowry
>>next time? Offcourse he wont do it. But such
>>incidences do have a potential to change the
>>little humanity we have in the society.
>>
>>Probably here there is a need to run a
>>campaign against dowry in a different way.
>>
>>What do you think?
>>
>>

--
 

regards, vinayak

My post above is Subject to

1. My idea of *self help* which is very essential : http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz
2. Standard disclaimers as in http://tinyurl.com/947u9
3. A short preamble : http://tinyurl.com/hatew

Seek advise : All India contact Nos : http://tinyurl.com/vntjz

All India contact Nos : alternate URL
http://www.blurty.com/users/vinayak/day/2006/12/10

Dowry Law Misuse : http://tinyurl.com/tdkx6 , http://tinyurl.com/v5vp8

Sample Blogs :
http://merabarath.blogspot.com/2008/07/blog-roll.html

How can a woman claim both live-in and rape ?
Elder Abuse : two-thirds of senior citizens feared that they would inevitably become victims of domestic violence .....
Dowry case costs three lives
More die due to exam failure than due to Dowry !!!
Majority of dowry cases are false: SP
HC cautions against the use of dowry law to settle scores
No maintenance for wife who can't prove cruelty: HC
Unmarried Female on pill, delivers a baby in toilet
Wife supposedly 'dead' in Bihar, man 'sights' her in Noida
Triple Talaq is a Legally valid form of Divorce - Madras HC
A failed marriage is not a crime however...
torture allegations are approx 6 times dowry DEATH FIRs !
Marriage cannot be dissolved at the drop of a hat: HC: Mubai
Husband says she had an affair, wife claims dowry harassment !!

Case Laws

NRI cannot be prosecuted without special permission of the Government
Ramakrishna v. Priya Ganesan - Custody of Minor child
Irretrievable break down of marriage
vast difference between "could have been", "must have been" and "has been".
Liberty is Paramount - Joginder Kumar V State of UP

Even former wife can file 498a
High court acquits, Supreme court convicts