Divorce !! why now ?

Dear Brother

I understand your frustration and feelings and that you wish to get out of this relationship and so you are contemplating a divorce.

However men do NOT get divorce easily [ especially under Hindu Marriage Act or Special Marriage Act]

So even if your wife has filed a 498A OR is about to file a 498A, do NOT file for divorce in haste....

From my experience, I suggest the following

1. When wife files 498A, fight the 498A case. i.e. Husband should obtain bails, attend hearings of 498a cases, cross examine opposite party witnesses, produce your own evidence + witnesses in court to disprove wife's claims etc ...etc... - BUT HUSBAND SHOULD NOT FILE FOR DIVORCE [i.e. do NOT start a civil battle]

1.1. you can file counter cases - CRIMINAL cases as well against her, BUT NOT civil cases

2. YES, I REPEAT, DO NOT FILE FOR DIVORCE immediately UNLESS you have VERY strong proof like adultery or something - that too very very strong proof that can stand the test of a criminal court

3. as far as the civil case is concerned, WAIT for the wife to make her first mistake [foe e.g. wife filing for nullity, etc...etc..] and ONLY counter wife's case

4. What if wife does not file a civil case ?? JUST WAIT !! THAT'S IT, PLAIN AND SIMPLE, JUST WAIT !!

4.1. In the meanwhile you can try to create proof of her ABANDONING your home. For a Hindu wife, the husband's house is the matrimonial home. Should she abandon it she has to show proper cause. Else she will be the deserting wife.

5. Now, continuing with our discussion ..."..What if wife files for divorce..." Wow !! excellent, oppose the GROUNDS for divorce and say that SHE IS THE cruel / deserting spouse and NOT you. again I recommend that you fight against wife's case, BUT DO NOT launch a case your self

6. What if wife files for restitution of conjugal rights [RCR] i.e. calls you back or wishes to come back ?? Now you have to make an honest decision. If you are willing to take her back, please do so. Or Else - i.e. IF you feel that she is NOT sincere, so be it... Fight against [the wife's restitution case] with relevant facts. One such fact [if she has filed a false 498A ] could be that her OWN statements at one case are contradicting her statements in another - so one of them, or most probably both of them are false !!

You see this is a war and a civil case is a LONG war

Offense generally needs 5 ~ 10 times more efforts than defense .... This is true of war. This is true in life. Our Courts are still in 18th century mindset.

Courts consider men filing divorce to be the aggressor

and ..... the moment you file a divorce, your wife will run to court and try to get the court's sympathy in her false 498A case as well

The moment you file for divorce, wife will come back seeking alimony, child maintenance blah ...blah ...blah .... Be completely prepared about maintenance and child support issues, BEFORE filing for divorce

I learnt this [concept] a little too late [after filing my divorce case], but well.... I still use this line and length occasionally - say during counsellings, mediation etc etc ....

regards

Vinayak

From the press - Reports of dowry law misuse

These are just a sample of the 10s of 1000s of cases of Dowry Law Mis use

http://www.ibnlive.com/news/tortured-hubbies-victims-of-498a/27446-3.html

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/html/uncomp/articleshow?msid=136812

http://cities.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=170603

http://cities.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=6276

http://www.hindu.com/2005/07/22/stories/2005072202631500.htm

http://www.telegraphindia.com/1050722/asp/nation/story_5020229.asp

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2005/20050403/punjab1.htm#8

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/OPINION/Letters_to_the_Editor/Readerspeak_A_legal_tool_to_earn_quick_money/articleshow/msid-351520,curpg-1.cms

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/OPINION/Letters_to_the_Editor/Readerspeak_A_legal_tool_to_earn_quick_money/articleshow/msid-351520,curpg-4.cms

http://in.news.yahoo.com/060828/43/670mo.html

http://www.nriinternet.com/Marriages/Dowry/Innocent/2005/1_Victim%20To%20Dowr.htm

http://www1.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/821297.cms

http://www.ibnlive.com/news/hubbies-cry-harassment-by-wife/28315-3.html

http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/5967_1779580,001600060001.htm

http://www1.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/articleshow?artid=37704054

SPERM FOR SALE !!! ‘Compromised semen’ racket unearthed

News item :
"..Semen samples given for testing to pathological laboratories are sold to shady fertility clinics for anywhere between Rs 200-400 per sample from where they are re-sold to childless couples often for up to ten times the amount. .."

Question :
What happens if some female buys a semen given out for testing, uses it, has a baby and then claims the INNOCENT MAN to be the father

what are the repurcussions ?

rape ?

maintenance ?

I guess this whole stuff about DNA / DNA based considering the MAN TO BE GUILTY is nonsense

what do you feel ?

regards
vinayak


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Publication:Times Of India Delhi; Date:Dec 12, 2006; Section:Times City; Page Number:8

‘Compromised semen’ racket unearthed

Abantika Ghosh | TNN

New Delhi: Rising infertility problem, social inhibitions and lack of awareness have fuelled a dangerous clandestine trade in ‘‘compromised semen’’ in the city.

Semen samples given for testing to pathological laboratories are sold to shady fertility clinics for anywhere between Rs 200-400 per sample from where they are re-sold to childless couples often for up to ten times the amount.

Pregnancy rates, needless to say, are dismal.

Off the record, pathological laboratories admit to the practice. On condition of anonymity, an employee of a south Delhi laboratory said: ‘‘We supply 30-40 samples a month. There is an unofficial understanding. Once samples have been tested they are usually sent out after processing. Rates vary according to the location but we charge Rs 350 per sample on an average.’’

Experts say the main problem is availability of sperm donors despite the donation fetching Rs 250-400 per ‘‘sitting’’. Cryogenie has just about 50 registered donors, Indraprastha Apollo Hospital, at any given time, has just 10. Each donor can donate a maximum of eight samples a month. There are an estimated 6,000 intra-uterine inseminations happening every day in Delhi. Though some three quarters of them use sperms from husbands, rampant malpractice has caused most hospitals and fertility clinics to rely only on their own sperm banks.

Says Dr Anoop Gupta of Delhi Fertility Research Centre: ‘‘The practice of sperm ‘outsourcing’ is common and if it is coming from a diagnostic laboratory it is obvious that the sample is compromised. Otherwise why was it given for testing in the first place? Besides, the semen processing sample is expensive and has a shelf life of just four weeks. No laboratory in Delhi has that. This is why soon after I started this centre in 1993, I decided not to use sperms from outside. But samples from our own bank are only for our patients.’’

Semen has to be processed to ensure that the prospective mother receives only the ‘‘best sperms’’. An average sample can be anywhere between 1-5 ml. A woman needs to be injected with just about 0.3 ml. Says Dr Suhani Verma, in-charge of the IVF laboratory and semen bank in Apollo: ‘‘Quality of sperms from commercial establishments is suspect not just because of the fertility factor but there is also the risk of infection. As per WHO guidelines, a donor has to be tested twice in a gap of three to six months and only then the sample should be used. Banks don’t always follow that. We keep hearing from patients about malpractices like sperm mixing.’’

Secrecy and religious issues often deter prospective donors, says Dr Iqbal Mehdi of Cryogenie. ‘‘There are confusions and misperceptions. We are also very particular about WHO guidelines — donor should be between 20-30 years of age and at least a graduate. The main thing about sperm preservation is that they need to preserved and transported in liquid nitrogen at -92 degrees Celsius. Not many centres have that facility.’’

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=Q0FQLzIwMDYvMTIvMTIjQXIwMDgwMQ==&Mode=HTML&Locale=english-skin-custom

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<