http://www.blurty.com/users/vinayak/day/2006/11/29
http://tinyurl.com/y2nx86
http://tinyurl.com/ykczrq
http://tinyurl.com/yf2gzk
http://tinyurl.com/yhoy6n
http://tinyurl.com/ycdvuh
http://o3.indiatimes.com/mera/archive/2006/11/29/2796456.aspx

After Aziz Premji it is BANGALORE UNDER ATTACK !!!

Re. Article in New India Press :
Domestic violence on increase in the city
Wednesday November 29 2006 00:00 IST

- It was widely reported that Aziz Premji was falsely charged with payment of dating allowance !!

- Now it's Bangalore's turn to get maligned :-(

- an author in New India Press cunningly pits POOR women being burnt in RURAL AREAS OF Bangalore and uses that as a justification for the rich and middle class women all over India, filing FALSE cases against husbands and mothers in law

- India's Silicon valley is being shown as bride burning country.

- We request honest citizens of this country to unite and fight against such maligning by misguided journalism

- I have purposely avoided giving links to the article for the article needs to be immediately removed by concerned news magazines

- We vehemently protest these false and CAMOUFLAGED writing where the sufferings and ills of poor women are used to JUSTIFY the wrongs of rich, affluent, educated young wives filing FALSE 498a cases [also dubbed dowry case!!]

- In reality aged mothers, un married / married sisters and many un suspecting relatives of men have been arrested due to such FALSE 498a cases

- There can be NO justification for arrest ON complaint and arrest WITHOUT inquiry or trial

- Honest, Law abiding, Elders are routinely being abused by FALSE 498A cases

- Law is NOT meant only for the irate, young wife. Law should be common to all

- In any democratic society an arrest has to be made ONLY AFTER proper investigation and inquiry & due process of law

- We do NOT support dowry. We oppose Dowry. Let women's organizations STOP supporting FALSE DOWRY CASES and false cases against an Indian ICONs like Aziz Premji and tech capitals like Bangalore


regards
Vinayak
November 29th 2006

Anti-male feminist dogma not the answer to domestic abuse

The trouble with ideologues is their simplemindedness.

Communists saw a world full of evil: Conniving capitalists arrayed against virtuous, long-suffering proletarians. Fascists saw the world divided between master and inferior races. Modem feminists see violent, aggressive, uncivilized men victimizing helpless, innocent, peace-loving women. It is the mark of small minds that they seek to eradicate nuance and complexity.

The fact that an idea is foolish, however, is no guarantee against its general approbation. Writing in the summer issue of the Virginia-based Women's Quarterly, Sally Satel assays the state of domestic-violence treatment and finds that the feminist understanding of the phenomenon has triumphed.

The feminist view of domestic violence, she explains, is akin to the feminist view of rape -- namely, that all men are potential batterers and that battery is an expression of patriarchal control. In a dozen states, including Massachusetts, Colorado, Florida, Washington and Texas (with a dozen more coming down the pike), guidelines for handling domestic-abuse cases specifically forbid couples counseling until and unless the man has undergone feminist indoctrination.

The man is seen by feminists as the problem in all domestic-violence situations. It is natural, if you already know who's at fault, to leave the woman out of counseling. To include her would amount to blaming the victim. Some of these therapies, by the way, are funded by the federal government under the Violence Against Women Act.

Like all ideologues, feminists are casual about mere facts. Feminists have floated falsehoods in service of their vision of domestic violence and, as Satel notes, they create "new bogus statistics faster than the experts can shoot them down." Some have become legendary, such as the claims that "more women have been killed by family members in the past five years than Americans were killed in Vietnam."

This is not to suggest that domestic violence is an invention. Alas, it is not. But there absolutely is no reason to believe that feminist approaches to the problem do any good. In fact, they may do real harm.

Take "must-arrest" laws. Many jurisdictions now require police to arrest one member of the couple (almost always the man) whenever there is a complaint of domestic abuse.

But while arresting the man may be the right thing to do in some cases, others are less clear. Arrest can inflame a situation that might not have escalated. And women themselves are sometimes the initiators of violence. Indeed, according to several studies, women are as likely as men to resort to violence.

Is it more often self-defense in the case of women? Not always. About 1.8 million females are victims of severe domestic violence each year. But so are 2.1 million men (men sometimes hurt other men in the home). Most violent situations involve both parties. Researcher Murray Straus, analyzing several studies, concludes that 25 to 30 percent of violent clashes between partners are the result of attacks by women.

The feminist assumption in cases of marital abuse is that all men are violent and irredeemably so. The advice of leading "experts" always is the same: Leave. But many women don't leave and they are not, Satel argues, all pathetic Hedda Nussbaums, caught in destructive chains they cannot escape. Many recognize their own contributions to the problem. Others weigh the costs of denying their children a father

If it purely were a matter of patriarchal arrogance, why is domestic abuse a problem even among lesbians?

Abusive husbands and wives need to learn how to control their behavior and communicate better with one another. It does not help to tell them that men are violent out of hatred for all women.

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1571/is_n33_v13/ai_19734095

all men are criminals by nature ...

Yes!!! Husband opposing wife's prostitution DOES constitute Domestic Violence!!!

From : Lucio Mascarenhas

What a silly question! When all of these "laws" (ha!) are based on the "infallible" doctrine Divinely Revealed to Parliament and Government that only men are capable of doing wrong, and women are incapable of doing wrong, why should anyone doubt that a woman murdering her husband in concert with her paramour for objecting to her extra-marital affairs is not VIRTUOUS?

I repeat, as the law states so very clearly,

"All men are criminals by nature ;

all women are by their natural constitution incapable of any wrongdoing whatsoever, unless considered as mothers, sisters, sister-in-laws, etc. of men".

Once you have understood this basic and fundamental doctrine of the State and Government, you will no longer entertain such foolish doubts!!!

And to think that that, in order to RE-EDUCATE dolts like us, who believe in the heresy that all, men and women alike, are capable of sinning, or that other heresy that any person, regardless of gender etc., is to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, the illustrious wisemen of the Indian Supreme Court, condescending to disabuse us of our errors, have certified time and again that this sweet, lustrous doctrine is "Constitutional" indeed!!!

Makes one think of the "Supreme Court" of Pakistan that justifies as "legal" the robbery of the entire Country by General Zia ul Haq or Pervez Musharaf. Is there any difference? I can't see. They are all honest men, illustrious men!!!


Lucio Mascarenhas,
Bombay

----- Original Message -----
From: Blue wolf
To: Lucio Mascarenhas,
Sent: Sunday, November 19, 2006 10:20 AM
Subject: Save Indian Family

Read comments
http://dvact.awardspace.com/index.php?module=forum&action=topic&id=5

We have to ask Renuka Chowdry, .. "..does stoping one's wife from having sex with her ex-lover, constitute Domestic Violence? .."

Do not file for divorce in a hurry

>when I filed divorce case on this ground, family
>court does not want to take 498a case into
>account, because these are to be treated
>separately!.
..........
>Our idiotic law makers make laws that are stupid
>and all the more stupid is the wide powers given
>to these crooks of females and their ilk. These
>laws never define anything specifically and will
>never tell you the procedure, will never specify
>the time frame within which this has to be
>completed.


Dear Brother

I understand your frustration and feelings

As you MAY have seen from the archives, my wife filed a false 498A against me some 6+ years ago and left it in limbo because she could NOT arrest me or my parents

My divorce case is YET to be decreed, so in a way a lot of us are "...in limbo..."

I too filed for divorce BEFORE I joined SIF, approx 2 years ago and I consider that a mistake

From my experience, I suggest the following

1. when wife files 498A, fight the 498A case. i.e. Husband should obtain bails, attend hearings of 498a cases, cross examine opposite party witnesses, produce your own evidence + witnesses in court to disprove wife's claims etc ...etc... - BUT HUSBAND SHOULD NOT FILE FOR DIVORCE

1.1. you can file counter cases - CRIMINAL cases as well against her, BUT NOT civil cases

2. YES, I REPEAT, DO NOT FILE FOR DIVORCE immediately UNLESS you have VERY strong proof like adultery or something - that too very very strong proof that can stand the test of a criminal court

3. as far as the civil case is concerned, WAIT for the wife to make her first mistake [foe e.g. in Jaspal's case, wife filing for nullity, etc...etc..] and ONLY counter wife's case

4. what if wife does not file a civil case ?? JUST WAIT !! THAT'S IT, PLAIN AND SIMPLE, JUST WAIT !!

5. what if wife files for divorce. Wow !! excellent, oppose the GROUNDS for divorce and say that SHE IS THE cruel / deserting spouse and NOT you. again I recommend that you fight against wife's case, BUT DO NOT launch a case your self

6. What if wife files for restitution [RCR] ?? very good. fight against that saying that her OWN statements at one case are contradicting her statements in another - so one of them, or most probably both of them are false !!

You see this is a war and a civil case is a LONG war

Offense generally needs 5 ~ 10 times more efforts than defense .... and the courts are still in 18th century mindset

Courts consider men filing divorce to be the aggressor

The moment you file for divorce, wife will come back seeking alimony, child maintenance blah ...blah ...blah ....

I learnt this [concept] a little too late [after filing my divorce case], but well.... I still use this line and length occasionally - say during counsellings, mediation etc etc ....

regards

Vinayak




>
>
>On 11/20/06, S K < @...> wrote:
>
>My dear friends,
>
>My case is similar to others here. I am still
>fighting 498A. She wants to fight this case and
>at the same time says that she wants to live with
>me (not my family of course). This is
>contradictory.
>
>Unfortunately, some of our judges in Bangalore
>are plain stupid and don't want to see this.
>
>when I filed divorce case on this ground, family
>court does not want to take 498a case into
>account, because these are to be treated
>separately!.
>
>Nowhere I heard such ridiculous arguments. Both
>are still running.
>
>Divorce case has gone on for more than 50
>hearings and over 45 so called hearings in
>Criminal court.
>
>In fact this delay by the judges and lawyers is
>more criminal.
>
>Our idiotic law makers make laws that are stupid
>and all the more stupid is the wide powers given
>to these crooks of females and their ilk. These
>laws never define anything specifically and will
>never tell you the procedure, will never specify
>the time frame within which this has to be
>completed.
>
>If the other party is wrong, we cannot file a
>counter case against them in general.
>
>I am happy for Mr. KK Verma for his luck.
>
>Lets keep fighting. But every fight should have
>an outcome. We are only mortal and most active
>and productive part of our life is lost in this
>nonsense. Who will compensate us for this? It is
>such invaluable price that we have to pay for
>somebody else fault!
>

The land of Karl Marx is turning to Bitchology !!!

Russian women trapping men

Posted by: "bureaucritic" bureaucritic@yahoo.com bureaucritic
Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:20 pm (PST)

http://www.newkerala.com/news4.php?action=fullnews&id=53043

Russian women are taking 'bitchology' lessons to snare a man!

London, Nov 19 : With the number of eligible bachelors dwindling in Russia, women in the country are now taking lessons in how to snare the man of their dreams.

It seems that an increasing number of Russian women are flocking to "bitch schools" that claim that they can arm the ladies with the competitive edge needed to snare a man, or even bring their own partners to heel.

Vladimir Rakovsky, a motivational speaker, and his wife, Yevgenia hold classes, which start with lectures in "bitchology", twice a week during the night.

And if there are people who are offended that women are being trained to be 'bitches', well then they need to be aware that in Russia a bitch refers to a woman who is neither strident nor sassy, but demure, manipulative and aware of her own sexuality, and uses all those attributes to get her own way.

"Bitchology is the theory, practice and technique of being successful in a man's world. A smart woman gets what she wants by pretending to be weak," The Telegraph quoted Rakovsky, as saying.

As for what makes a woman a successful 'bitch', well strength of will, self-confidence and knowing how to use her "feminine wiles" is the key.

"A bitch should be strong and self-confident but should remember to use feminine wiles, such as her attractiveness and, whenever useful, she should try to come across as a helpless creature," he added.

After the initial lectures, the women then attend the "school of seduction" in which they learn to use their sexuality to attract the most discerning of men. by flaunting their sexuality.

In the final lesson, the women learn the art of the striptease.

And it seems that the classes do indeed work, for the Rakovskys' students swear by the technique which, according to one, gives every Russian woman what she wants, namely "Great sex, money and a man who looks after you."

Cricketer Mr. Manoj Prabhakar HAS BEEN LOOTED by his wife...

This is "Legal Extortion".

If Manoj Prabhakar has committed a crime (of harassment) then why is the court directing him to pay ???? !!!!!

Justice for Money ????? !!!!! hahahahaa--ha

and that too Manoj's wife has filed a dowry case some 15 years AFTER marriage. During the complaint, Manoj's son was WITH MANOJ as seen on TV !!


http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1062781

Manoj Prabhakar, wife reach compromise in dowry case

PTI

Tuesday, November 07, 2006 22:36 IST


NEW DELHI: Former Indian cricketer Manoj Prabhakar and his wife Sandhya on Tuesday arrived at an amicable settlement in the dowry harassment case filed by the latter after a Delhi court assisted them in working out the compromise.

Additional Sessions Judge Vinod Kumar called both the parties in his chamber following the submissions made by the counsels of the two sides requesting the judge to help them in arriving at a compromise.

The court, after listening to the parties, directed Manoj to transfer the entire basement in a Greater Kailash property and a house in Kalkaji in favour of his wife.

It further asked Manoj to pay Rs 15 lakhs to his wife within six months as a full and final settlement amount, which both the parties consented to.

Sandhya consented to relinquishing her rights in favour of Prabhakar relating to all other immovable properties.

Manoj and Sandhya also agreed on quashing of the criminal proceedings instituted against each other and withdrawing of all complaints and litigations pending between them.

Sandhya had lodged an FIR accusing Manoj of dowry harassment, criminal breach of trust and bigamy in August.

In her FIR, Sandhya had accused Manoj of beating her and her teenaged son and demanding more money for running three companies floated jointly by them.

Earlier, the counsel for Sandhya, Sunil Mittal had submitted before the court that an amount of Rs 10 lakhs was offered by Prabhakar in addition to a house, which was not an adequate settlement amount.

He further said Sandhya was the Director of one of the three companies floated jointly by them and was holder of 9,000 shares of that company as well and hence, the settlement amount should be in proportionate to her standard of living.

On this, Ranjeet Kapoor, counsel for Manoj, had requested the judge to anchor the parties in the settlement.

Sandhya, in her FIR, had alleged she had brought dowry including a car, jewellery and cash, on the demand of her in-laws.

However, in 2001, Manoj started living with one Farheen leaving Sandhya and their son without any financial support, she had complained.

DO I TAKE HER BACK ??

Question
>I find myself in a situation where i don't know i
>should be happy or not.... let me brief my
>situation
>
>False dowry harassment complaint was given in
>women cell against me and my parents. We had _ (#s)
>counselling meetings where my wife used to blame
>me and allege all wrong false things to me but
>used to maintain that she wants to join me back
>but need assurance etc... Her parents, relatives
>etc used to abuse us and shout at us. Finally case
> went to ____ (police officer) and in front of
>the ____ (police officer) she took back all allegations &
>she wants to join me back and want to be a "good"
>wife. ____ (police officer) got her statements written
>down & signed by her. I was not provided with
>any copy.
>
>Then ____ (police officer) asked me to take her back.
>
>Now i am scared, i don't know is it a "game"
>being played by my wife and in-laws or she has
>genuinely realized it.
>
>What should i do now... what are the pros and
>cons, please advice.
>
>Regards,

My 2 cents


Subject to
------------------------------------------------
1. my idea of *self help* which is very essential :
http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz

2. standard disclaimers as in http://tinyurl.com/947u9


1. Has she filed a complaint under section 498A of IPC ? or has she included other sections as well ?

2. If YES has an FIR been filed by the police ? Please do NOT say you do NOT know. Get someone at the Police station and find out ? GEt your lawyer to find out. It is YOUR right to know if you have a criminal case and if the FIR has been filed

3. If an FIR has been filed have you received a copy of the complaint ? please note that IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO GET A complaint COPY. Please note that you can file a writ at the HC (and some have even tried the RTI) to get a copy of the complaint

4. If NOT have you requested the _____ (police officer) for a complaint copy and crime no ? or an FIR copy ? while you request for an FIR copy the _____ (police officer) may always say, why do you need FIR copy ? she has accepted that she will be a good wife ...blah blah ..blah ... but you will have to argue politely BUT firmly stating that (a) she was the one who started the un provoked firing and you wish to know the facts and hence for knowing the facts AND for a better life IN FUTURE !! you are asking for the facts of her complaint ... OR give any other convincing answer but get a copy of the FIR IF any FIR is filed

5. Once an FIR is filed, the police will have two options. either to investigate and CLOSE the case - saying that these are mistake in facts or whatever ... or file a charge sheet i.e. charging you as accused ....

6. In this case MOST probably the _____ (police officer) would state that he would close the case and "...you do NOT worry about it..." but again you will have to ensure that you have SOME DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE of the case being closed AND THE CASE NOT BEING KEPT IN ABEYANCE - LIKE A SWORD ON YOUR HEAD !!

6. ........now......... once you HAVE POSITIVE PROOF THAT THIS CASE WAS CLOSED....... and ONLY if you have such proof ...... proceed to next stage

6.1. However if a charge sheet has been filed, ONLY the COURT can decree in your favour or quash and close the case

6.2. A woman cannot withdraw her own complaint at the complaint / before trial state when a complaint has been filed under section 498A IPC

6.3. Offences under section IPC 498A are NON compoundable i.e. the complainant cannot withdraw her own complaint once the police have accepted the case and filed a charge sheet

7. Only after you have assurances that NO charge sheet has been filed AND only when you have documentary proof of the case being cloased, you come to a point where you have to take a personal decision .. a decision that ONLY you can take about your wife, IS she trustworthy ? is she just playing a game and so on

8. Almost every month or so there is a SIMILAR thread here in SIF. Please check the archives. Every now and then, Co victims are faced with such a dilemma ? do I take back a woman who filed false, baseless, frivolous and potentially lethal, criminal complaints against the husband ?? well.....well.....well..... there are NO thumb rules, no fixed answers to this question

9. Many would tell you NEVER trust a 498A woman.

10. Some would tell you quite the opposite

11. Take my case. My wife file a 498A quite some time back. My case is all over the archives and you may search the archives of this group to know my case. I AM CALLING MY WIFE BACK and I AM ready to live with her. THIS IS NOT SOME STRATEGY or something. This is a genuine request. Well, if she [my wife] does NOT come back that's something else, but all I am telling you is that the DECISION IS PERSONAL

12. Howe ever steps upto point 6 above are ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL

There is NO meaning in taking her back, leaving the case hanging in abeyance and your wife and in laws threatening you every minute ...


regards

Vinayak




>I find myself in a situation where i don't know i
>should be happy or not.... let me brief my
>situation
>
>False dowry harassment complaint was given in
>women cell against me and my parents. We had _ (#s)
>counselling meetings where my wife used to blame
>me and allege all wrong false things to me but
>used to maintain that she wants to join me back
>but need assurance etc... Her parents, relatives
>etc used to abuse us and shout at us. Finally case
> went to ____ (police officer) and in front of
>the ____ (police officer) she took back all allegations &
>she wants to join me back and want to be a "good"
>wife. ____ (police officer) got her statements written
>down & signed by her. I was not provided with
>any copy.
>
>Then ____ (police officer) asked me to take her back.
>
>Now i am scared, i don't know is it a "game"
>being played by my wife and in-laws or she has
>genuinely realized it.
>
>What should i do now... what are the pros and
>cons, please advice.
>
>Regards,

SUNDAY DEBATE: Is verbal abuse domestic violence? No

Soli Sorabjee
Former Attorney General

In principle there is no objection to including verbal abuse in the definition of domestic violence. The problem lies in the wide definition of verbal abuse which includes "name calling and insults". Name calling in every case cannot be equated with verbal abuse.

Have we not called our friends, male or female, 'shorty' or 'fatty' or 'snooty' or 'sexy' and referred to them as such in conversation? An average person of ordinary sensibilities would not consider these nicknames as insults or verbal abuse. We must be guided by the standards of rational human beings.

If a female consumed by intense curiosity tirelessly questions her husband or partner about his friends, male or female, and makes disparaging remarks about them, the man in exasperation may say "stop behaving like a jealous cat".

On account of the wide definition he would be guilty of domestic violence on different scores. And therein lies the rub. One of the meanings of insult is "to hurt one's feelings". There are hypersensitive persons who perceive hurt and imagine insults when none is meant or intended.

For example, in a heated discussion on the subject of religion and some religious practices, it is likely for a man to call his wife or female partner a fanatic and that may well be for good reasons. Is that an insult?

Take the case of a debate about the advisability of the abolition of capital punishment. If the wife is fervently for hanging convicted criminals by the neck till they die, the male in exasperation may call her a blood thirsty moron.

In the above examples it would be absurd to hold that the man has indulged in verbal abuse and is thus guilty of domestic violence. But that is precisely what would happen in view of the indiscriminate and imprecise definition of verbal abuse.

This state of affairs would inevitably have a chilling effect on expression. Healthy and vigorous dialogue would become impossible, conversation would lose its flavour and punch and all that on the slippery subjective criterion of name-calling and feelings being hurt. It would also plant seeds for marital discord.

If name-calling is persistent and abusive, that is a different matter altogether and may be dealt with appropriately.

Therefore, the need is to define verbal abuse narrowly and with precision and to prevent the Domestic Violence Act from being a paradise for lawyers, a hell for husbands and nightmare for enforcement authorities.


http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-322617,curpg-2.cms

wife is threatening with a 498A, so I filed divorce

Subject to
------------------------------------------------
1. my idea of *self help* which is very essential :
http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz

2. standard disclaimers as in http://tinyurl.com/947u9




Dear Brother

>
>
>Dear Vinayak JI,
>
>thanks a lot for your mail which really
>encouraged me to fight for justice.
>
>As you said filing divorce was not the right
>option then what could have been the
>possibilities?
>

Please read below

>
>she [wife] didn't leave anything to think upon
>this relationship.
>

I see

>
>and calling her back again was dangerous due to
>________ (xyz) reasons
>

Ok. This could be the case in many situations

>
>i called her back last december and i have proof
>for that.
>
>she lived with me for almost ______ months and
>again created a big drama and left with all her
>belongings.
>
>now again i tried but seeing everything going
>out of my hand , i put the information with the
>local police station in the month of july
>statting that she has left with all her stridhan
>

This is a good step

At least clears your side

I understand your predicament

>
>now my lawyer told me abt 498a but he told me to
>wait till they file this against me and my
>family. he said he will immediately apply for
>arrest stay and we all be saved.
>

This is the general mentality of some of the
lawyers

Wait for the other party to file a case, get a
cop, get a copy of the FIR / complaint, apply for
Anticip. Bail

This DOES work in many cases

This does NOT work in many cases :-(

So IF you are MENTALLY prepared FOR ANYTHING
this is AN O.K. route

>
>now again i tried but seeing everything going
>out of my hand , i put the information with the
>local police station in the month of july. then
>her parents started giving me "DHAMKI" and i had
>no option but to file the divorce case.
>


OUR GENERAL ADVISE IN CASE OF DHAMKI


Record the threats

MP3 recorders are available at very reasonable
prices !!

Phone recording devices, Mobile phones that can
record etc etc are

and then file a CRIMINAL case against such un
scrupulous girl(s) and her family members who are
threatening you

By this you open a criminal case against ANOTHER
criminal case

YOU DO NOT open a civil dispute and do NOT have
to worry about maintenance

>
>
>[some self help team members also] advised me to
>put an application to police station , human
>right commisison and mahila thana of both delhi
>and kanpur (her locality) and this will surely
>save me from arresting and all.
>


this thought is also gaining ground

PLEASE DO THESE IMMEDIATELY

>
>
>kindly advice me...
>
>waiting for your reply..
>
>regrds
>
>_______________
>brother in distress
>
>>
>>
>>Vinayak.20.victim123@dfgh.net wrote:
>>
>>Dear ____________________
>>
>>These days I come across 100s if not 1000s of
>>FALSE extortion cases and FALSE dowry cases.
>>Courts are aware of this and have condemned this
>>
>>http://www.telegraphindia.com/1050722/asp/nation/story_5020229.asp
>>http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/47102038.cms
>>
>>The law that was made to protect the woman,
>>seems to be grossly mis-used to extract money
>>from innocent men or to wreck vengeance.
>>
>>I am saddened to hear such stories.
>>
>>I'm equally saddened to hear your story.
>>
>>Subject to my idea of *self help* which is very
>>essential : http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz
>>
>>and standard disclaimers as in
>>http://tinyurl.com/947u9
>>
>>... may I suggest
>>---------------------------
>>
>>- Since you filed the divorce on the basis of
>>SOME lawyer's advise (who positively must have
>>taken a fee from you), why NOT ask that GREAT man
>>/ woman *called lawyer* as to what to do with
>>this 498A threat ??
>>
>>- In my opinion, filing the divorce was NOT the
>>best IDEA
>>
>>- even now you say she LEFT YOUR HOUSE. did you
>>call her back ? IF you did call her back did you
>>create proof of calling her back ? for e.g did
>>you send a registered legal notice calling her
>>back ? or what did you do ??
>>
>>- you see, NO ONE can dictate terms on how you
>>live inside your house. BUT YOUR WIFE can always
>>come to the court and say "..THIS MAN IS THROWING
>>ME OUT OF THE HOUSE.." AND she will get sympathy
>>
>>- your should try to avoid the court becoming
>>sympathetic to her
>>
>>- think on those lines ..........
>>
>>- RE 498A fear
>>-------------------
>>
>>- you say you have already filed some complaints
>>against her
>>
>>- contact the Delhi, mumbai, kokatta or
>>Bangalore self help groups
>>
>>*It is always preferable to get advise over
>>phone [numbers below]*
>>
>>I suggest that you call AND THEN MEET one or
>>more of our self help team members [numbers below].
>>
>>Bangalore, Calcutta and Delhi teams also hold
>>weekly meetings. Please make it a point to attend
>>some of these meetings. Share your case history
>>and the trials, triumphs and follies of your
>>lawyer with others and request them the share
>>their ideas similarly
>>
>>All India Helpline Number: 91-92434 73794 (24 Hours)
>>alternate Nos : 91-9810611534 or 080-55334135
>>
>>Volunteer Helpline Numbers (limited contact hours)
>>---------------------------------------------------------------
>>Delhi:
>>Ashish : 9911119113,
>>Swarup : 9810611534
>>
>>Bangalore: 80-55334135
>>Jaipur: 09352562456
>>Kolkata : 033-25347398/25217318 (9.00 p.m. to 11.00 pm)
>>Mumbai: 9224335577 / 9869323538
>>Nashik : 9371988132
>>Gujarat - 098253 65816 (J.K.Tawri)
>>
>>
>>regards
>>vinayak
>>
>>
>>
>>>
>>>i am living in _____. got married some _
>>>yrs back with a mentally sick , probably
>>>borderline personality disorder lady in _____.
>>>but all this i came to know after ____ months of
>>>marriage when she was pregnent also.i don't have
>>>any proof also to prove her weird behaviour. i
>>>kept on ignoring her cruel and violent behaviour
>>>just to live life happily and to save my family
>>>from the societal spots like divorce and all. but
>>>she continued torturing me on
>>>meaningless/irrelevant issues till __ years. and
>>>one day she left me alone while taking my child
>>>away. in the whole episode she got tremendous
>>>support from her mother, who is working and
>>>earming a handsome salary. she always insulted me
>>>by talking of her mothers money and fathers high
>>>status in the society. since i was very serious
>>>for my kid's life and future for which i am very
>>>much responsible , i never created any scene out
>>>of her behaviour and silently passed almost 1 yr
>>>without her. when one day (last _______) i treid
>>>again and she came to me. but she had some other
>>>plan which i didn't know. she slowly started
>>>collecting all her belongings (jewellery ,
>>>passport, certificates etc)and created big drama
>>>one night. she tortured me physically also, which
>>>i tolerated just to settle everything in a
>>>peaceful and cordial manner ie if she wants
>>>divorce etc. it was the month of ______.
>>>despite of all that , my affinity for my son
>>>always demotivated me to take any step against
>>>her but one day i realised that she will not come
>>>back i put an information in the local police
>>>station stating "she left my house with all her
>>>belongings and she was accompnied by her father
>>>and brother". now recently her parents started
>>>giving threats for severe consequences if i don't
>>>accept her daughter without ay condition and i
>>>live with her the way she wants. this was
>>>undoubtly not acceptable to me as i am ready to
>>>be hanged but can't live with her. seeing no
>>>option left finally i filed divorce petition on
>>>the basis of cruelty , violence , interference of
>>>her parents to my family life , and demands as
>>>per suggested by my lawyer. probably they should
>>>get the summon in 2-3 days. as i discussed my
>>>case with many ppl but getting different
>>>opinions. i don't know what could be their step
>>>after getting the summon. she might go for 498A
>>>to get all of us arrested. i have appealed the
>>>court so court must give me relief on this
>>>basis.?? what all precaution we should take now.
>>>and since there is no provision of anticipatory
>>>bail in UP so what will hapen in this case?
>>>
>>>they have no proof of any dowry as we didn't
>>>take anything from them. but since this act
>>>doesn't go for enquiry so will i be arrested
>>>witout any proof??
>>>
>>>KINDLY HELP ME ..... I AM VERY TENSED AND NOT
>>>ABLE TO EVEN WORK PROPERLY. THERE IS A CHANCE
>>>THAT I MAY LOOSE MY JJOB ALSO DUE TO NON-
>>>PERFORMANCE. PLEASE GUIDE ME AND GIVE ME
>>>STRENGTH...
>>>
>>>REGARDS
>>>
>>>_______________

DELAY IN CRIMINAL CASES

Subject to

1. my idea of *self help* which is very
essential : http://tinyurl.com/pxcfz

2. standard disclaimers as in
http://tinyurl.com/947u9



DELAY IN CRIMINAL CASES

Question :
>
>8. My parents are very old and father cannot
>even walk; my brother and sisters are busy with
>theri own personal lives reponsibilities. This
>is the reason I want to come to India________ to
>quash the case against me and fight for the
>custody of my ___ children aged between __, _and
>_ repectively...........
>


Criminal cases NEED NOT end soon

The bureaucracy will also add to the delay

It all depends on your determination and the
will to fight

IF The opposite party is a housewife, willing
to sit at home she will keep dragging the case
to frustrate you and spoil your career

It also depends on how much time and effort you
are ready to spend ... and what are your
logistics ....

Finally it will be a war of nerves on who
blinks first


FOR E.G.


What will you do if the case drags on for ONE
year ?

what will you do if FOR SOME reason you have to
attend the police station / be present there for
2 months ??

Forget the passport impounding etc.. I am
confident that ONE WAY OR OTHER you will be able
to go back , get your passport BUT what happens
IF THERE ARE DELAYS ??

AND ....

I understand that all these criminal cases are a
PAIN in the ass - they are continuous nagging worry

However the moment you come to India, your leave
meter and exit entry visa meter will start running

what happens IF you get delayed ??

Please reply to these questions and we can take
it from there ....


Please note :

Sensitive information is REMOVED and the
original question is posted to the group. Others
may please add their experience in this matter

regards
vinayak



>
>
>Dear Mr. Vinayak,
>
>Thanks a lot for your reply and questions, I
>answer to your quesries as follows:
>
>1. I have not gone to Indian since ____________
>
>2. Her name is ____________ this name I have
>already posted on the LEGAL TERRORIST list. I am
>not very much aware of the complaint she filed in
>____ (city). But the FIR is under 498a. 3. Her
>allegation is that my mother and sisters were
>_________________________________________ whle
>she was with me here in ____________ (city)
>_________________________________________
>_________________________________________

[.........]

>4. My lawyer is ____________________ . He
>advise me not to come to India until the cases
>are quash/dismissed/settled.
>
>5. I don't know under what section the police
>has filed charge sheet but the FIR is 498a.
>
>6. The accused are Myself, my parents, my
>brother and
>_________________________________________.
>
>But all my relatives live separately in their
>houses, my paresnts live in the house belongs to
>me.
>

[.........]

>
>8. My parents are very old and father cannot
>even walk; my brother and sisters are busy with
>theri own personal lives reponsibilities. This
>is the reason I want to come to bangalore to
>quash the case against me and fight for the
>custody of my 3 sons aged between 6, 3 and 1
>repectively.
>
>Awaiting for your valuable advise and
>suggesstion...
>
>Thanks and regards...
>
>___________________________ (name)
>___________________________ (city)