Divorce !! why now ?

Dear Brother

I understand your frustration and feelings and that you wish to get out of this relationship and so you are contemplating a divorce.

However men do NOT get divorce easily [ especially under Hindu Marriage Act or Special Marriage Act]

So even if your wife has filed a 498A OR is about to file a 498A, do NOT file for divorce in haste....

From my experience, I suggest the following

1. When wife files 498A, fight the 498A case. i.e. Husband should obtain bails, attend hearings of 498a cases, cross examine opposite party witnesses, produce your own evidence + witnesses in court to disprove wife's claims etc ...etc... - BUT HUSBAND SHOULD NOT FILE FOR DIVORCE [i.e. do NOT start a civil battle]

1.1. you can file counter cases - CRIMINAL cases as well against her, BUT NOT civil cases

2. YES, I REPEAT, DO NOT FILE FOR DIVORCE immediately UNLESS you have VERY strong proof like adultery or something - that too very very strong proof that can stand the test of a criminal court

3. as far as the civil case is concerned, WAIT for the wife to make her first mistake [foe e.g. wife filing for nullity, etc...etc..] and ONLY counter wife's case

4. What if wife does not file a civil case ?? JUST WAIT !! THAT'S IT, PLAIN AND SIMPLE, JUST WAIT !!

4.1. In the meanwhile you can try to create proof of her ABANDONING your home. For a Hindu wife, the husband's house is the matrimonial home. Should she abandon it she has to show proper cause. Else she will be the deserting wife.

5. Now, continuing with our discussion ..."..What if wife files for divorce..." Wow !! excellent, oppose the GROUNDS for divorce and say that SHE IS THE cruel / deserting spouse and NOT you. again I recommend that you fight against wife's case, BUT DO NOT launch a case your self

6. What if wife files for restitution of conjugal rights [RCR] i.e. calls you back or wishes to come back ?? Now you have to make an honest decision. If you are willing to take her back, please do so. Or Else - i.e. IF you feel that she is NOT sincere, so be it... Fight against [the wife's restitution case] with relevant facts. One such fact [if she has filed a false 498A ] could be that her OWN statements at one case are contradicting her statements in another - so one of them, or most probably both of them are false !!

You see this is a war and a civil case is a LONG war

Offense generally needs 5 ~ 10 times more efforts than defense .... This is true of war. This is true in life. Our Courts are still in 18th century mindset.

Courts consider men filing divorce to be the aggressor

and ..... the moment you file a divorce, your wife will run to court and try to get the court's sympathy in her false 498A case as well

The moment you file for divorce, wife will come back seeking alimony, child maintenance blah ...blah ...blah .... Be completely prepared about maintenance and child support issues, BEFORE filing for divorce

I learnt this [concept] a little too late [after filing my divorce case], but well.... I still use this line and length occasionally - say during counsellings, mediation etc etc ....

regards

Vinayak